Now tell me what is it in this day, in this week, that you are looking forward to?
What objects, people, places are you going to be seeing or experiencing in some way (verbal, visual, etc) that you are looking forward to, know you will enjoy, will be a positive experience?
Now tell me in life right now what is it that just a thought about that person, place, thing brings a smile, a joy, a peace, a sense of relaxation?
Guess what!?!?
To get there you need to keep moving and being in the flow, in the moment...
And!!!
You can start savoring the benefits of those moment with the people, places, things that grab you right now....
BUT... uh huh ... lol
The trick is to acknowledge where you are heading not to indulge and live in that place, cause you are now in this place!!
Yet, that acknowledgement of reaching the parts of life that grab you are the ones that can get you going - get you motivated to start achieving your life this week, today, and this very moment!!
The task at hand is but a step to move forward and as you handle each of the tasks you have take a few moments, take a few breaths, find that sense of acknowledgement that you completed it and that it means you are a step closer to being in that place, with that person, near that object.
Look for your friends your coworkers to be an inspiration and motivation to move forward focused and get things done...
Ya know......
What can motivate is not always something positive that grabs at us as something in the future (far or near)
Sometimes it can be to move away from where we have been - from sadness, anger, frustration, of times of stagnancy
Sometimes it can be to not be like something that is with us right then - we can have a motivation to not be like the person who is upset, angry, stagnant, etc
Don't Forget!!
Life is what you make it - by that I mean that you have the chance to decide the view your going to take moving forward, you have the choice of what perceptions you take in your experiences, and you have the ability to choose your actions and responses. If there is something that lends to frustration, sadness, etc then either find the way to change your perceptions, be willing to be open towards it, or move on. Life is what you make it, it is the combination of your perceptions and actions. Be it an aspect of the law of attraction, the concept of mind over matter, or countless other philosophical ideas rooted in various ways throughout time you are able to shift your life, and you make of it what you shift it towards.
Your never alone - I mean that in some way you are not alone. I have felt, even just shy of 2mos ago that I was alone and things proved me mostly right - until I started looking more carefully, until I went to places & people I didn't quickly think of.... The fact is someone (multiple people actually) do care about you and they are already or willing to be there for you and they are supportive, they do want the best for you. Just because those you may have wanted the most with/from are not doesn't equate to everyone - and yes actions speak louder than words, and words speak much louder than unknown thoughts (remember this also in your interactions with others)...
So... what grabs you?...what gets you going?... what is the fire, the passion, the joy, the fear, the anger, the people, the places, the things that you want to have in your life, that you want to move away from.... now there is the motivation, the inspiration.... want it with all that you are, desire it fully, let it be real and felt throughout you... now twist it, turn it and with that sensation drive forward - take the jump into today, this week, into life
The last blog began to talk about the power and discipline of goal planning, now it is time to work on the actual process and start of creating goals.
Now, whether it is better to start at the daily, weekly, monthly, yearly is an individual preference and aspect that is more easily discovered working one-on-one.
Thus, for now - the daily.
As I mentioned there are six aspects I have found ought to be involved for the most success with achieving goals:
1. Some things that you can see/feel immediately each day. 2. Some things that are attainable in periods such as a week, month, 90days, a year, five years. 3. Some things that would require a bit of work and see some or full results daily, weekly, monthly, etc 4. Some things that are larger challenges that if I begin to get towards would give that sensation of accomplishment and belief/knowledge of possibility - again weekly, monthly, yearly 5. Some things that are deadline or number oriented - stuff that *must* get done at or by certain times so there is a sense of pressure 6. Some things that have general ideas of when/what will be completed so that there are things to be relaxed about
For Daily we deal with 1, 3, 4, 5, 6 - and as I have mentioned it is the interplay of each that grants the ability to grow with faith, trust, belief, knowledge, and action towards achieving the life you want.
#1 - Goals you can easily obtain and see come through today Some of the examples of this may sound silly but at the end of the day knowing you have accomplished and done these things does tell your mind and body that you can definitely reach your goals. Setting aspects such as: waking up, eating, getting dressed, going to sleep --- now you can add others to this, the idea is things that you know you can and will do. If you know that you are going to the beach today add that in, if you know a friend is coming over add that. Accomplishing tasks that you know can and will happen begins the self-efficacy; knowledge, sense, etc of control in your day.
#3 - Some things that require a bit of work This is still going to be aspects that are familiar to you, things that you still know you can do but not necessarily plan to do with complete assurity that you will. Examples can be that you will read more of a book that you are already reading, will check e-mail and respond, exercise, ensure that what you eat is good & right for you, that when you do what your supposed to do you will add or remember to increase it. The idea here is that your having to do a bit more to accomplish these tasks but they are still familiar to you, they are things that you can do that day without a lot of work or effort apart from the action. Accomplishing this increases the self-efficacy with a focus on the role of control and ability.
#4 - Challenging goals that just starting will be an accomplishment. These are the larger goals that often incorporate adding something new to your day or something that you might only do once in a great great while but want to do that day. These are the goals that daily tie more into weekly, monthly, and yearly planning. This can be adding in a new exercise regime & doing it, changing food habbits and doing it, reading a new book, starting/working on a project, getting together with people, etc. The trick here is even if you do not complete this goal today that by beginning it you acknowledge that those things you aren't doing all the time are possible, that you can actually start moving forward towards the greater goals, etc.
#5 Deadline oriented Make sure that there are some goals you have for the day of whatever of the above categories that must be done by a certain time or be a specific number - a defined goal. Perhaps you will be sure to eat lunch by 2pm, you will send out 10comments on myspace, you will spend 30minutes meditating, at 4pm you will have finished watching the tv shows you saved. Having deadlines and meeting them gives a great sense of accomplishment it lets you know that you can reach the goals you have in a set time. This also helps increase your knowledge of the time and effort it takes to get to your goals allowing for revisions in the goal planning.
#6 - Open deadline goals Stress can be a motivator but also you need to have some goals that don't require them to be done by a certain time. Simply stating that you will work on reading a book but not giving a time period or number of pages allows a freedom of the experience. Let yourself have activities that are not bound by restrictions, things that focus on enjoying life, being in the flow, and letting go. The first part of this goal is the idea of knowing you are not simply in a state of demands and requirements, you have freedoms that you allow yourself and that the world is giving you. The second part is that as you get to the end of the day and these things have been done or started there is a level of pleasure and gratitude in knowing that you have 'time to enjoy life'.
When to make a daily plan?
Where you start with this is individual preference and sometimes best discovered with trial and error and the help of someone working with you.
Generally though my suggestion is that you start your daily plans in a few ways. 1. ideally as you create weekly and similar plans you will find what needs to be done daily.... but we are starting with daily so... 2. The night before - before you go to sleep at night along with your gratitude assignment (will talk about that in another blog) spend about 5-10 minutes lightly sketching out your goals. This can be a bulleted list, written parragraphs, pictures, anything.... include as one of the first goals: To Wake Up 3. In the morning take that list, paragraph, etc and put a check or star next to "waking up" *YAY* goal one accomplished and if you added a time to do this buy maybe two checks. Next write a more detailed plan and list for the day. 4. At lunch check in on that list and add your check marks or stars to what you have done - notes perhaps on how you did (you can use a rating scale if you want) and check in on and/or revise the goals and plans for the rest of the day 5. after dinner and/or before bed take an assessment of the day and how you did, emphasize what you accomplished
Now then...
Everything in Moderation including Moderation!!
This is not meant to be a stressful activity or something that if you forget to make plans for a day or check in on that somehow this will not work or that you are failing at it. Not everyday ought to be planned with lots of goals or great details - the ability for being spontaneous is important, being able to have a day that is unplanned is important.
Take this process slowly or quickly, be very dedicated or partially dedicated to it - you may know where you are in the needs to do detailed daily plans or perhaps your not totally sure - test it out, check it out, play with these activities.
If this is very stressing to you send me an e-mail we can talk things out or I can help you find others that may be able to work better with you.
REWARDS!!
Yep, they are important.
And.. yes... the greatest rewards are knowing that you have reached and accomplished some of or evena all of your daily plans and goals.
And.. yes... there ought to be something that you reward yourself with daily, weekly, etc based on your sucesses here. For daily often it could be something like a small piece of chocolate or desert, a check mark on the route to spending money or time doing something you really have wanted to and love, a bit of time spent doing something fun and enjoyable (this should actually be part of daily goals but can also be a reward aspect... be careful with limiting yourself)
Punishments?? Yikes, I never did like that concept.
Does it have a role though -- yes and no.
First it is the step one of the goal planning - doing things you know you can and will do with complete ease - that is designed so you do not punish yourself at the end of the day.
Next, not getting a reward is in a sense a way of promoting a motivation and inspiration to do more the next day.
Third, DO NOT BE VERY HARD ON YOURSELF!!
Fourth... yes you may put in some forms of discipline... if you do not reach certain goals then you will have to do something or not do something... ie if at the end of the day you didnt get the chores done then the next day you limit your time on say a computer game.... be very careful of this though, punishment can be beneficial and needed at times for appreciation, inspiration, and motivation but yeah be careful here.
*smiles* Give it a try doing daily plans, if you need more guidance on putting the plan together let me know.... little aspects that will help with daily planning and goals as well as improving the quality of life will be forthcoming.
Much Love ~Namaste, Debra J Macking, LMT & Life Guide 813-486-0240 www.achievinglife.com
It is easy I think to get to points where you realize that the goals you had set, be them earlier that day, weeks ago, months, even years ago just have not come through at all or perhaps the way you wanted, the way you planned, even the way you needed.
At these points I find it can be easy to say well either having goals is pointless, my goals are tooo big, or even the idea that you are not good enough for those goals, that you are in some form a failure.
As I say that the first thing that comes to my mind are the phrases: "those who suceed the most have failed even more than that" "if at first you dont suceed, try try again"
Now those who have a higher sense of self-efficacy and those that have found, acknowledged, and embraced the successes that are in their lives can easily agree with those phrases even if they are not where they want or need to be yet.
What about the rest though, what about those who 'want' to have goals but have given up on making them, what about those who see certain goals or themselves in relation to certain goals as impossible, as guarunteed failure?
If you set yourself up for failure it is harder to have success but to get to where you can be more positive there needs to be some form of immediate return on the investment right?
Getting to that point where if there is not an immediate, accountable, and felt reward it is not going to work is a tough spot to be in... and then it gets to a looping process of constant 'didn't work' and yeah I tried, and didnt work, and it gets worse......
So.. what do you do?
I would say first to ask the following question - but depending on just where one is or what aspect of life they apply it to they need someone talking to them in person, on the phone, and truly working one on one with them....
1. Do you want to be more aware of your life and where you want to take it? 2. Do you believe that you deserve happiness and success in your life? 3. Are you willing to look at multiple aspects of your life and embrace the good things? 4. Are you willing to do what is going to believe, know, and do what will be asked of you?
Alright... so either we have those questions answered in a positive (though can be skeptic) way or we need to work one on one....
Next is the art of goal planning as I call it.
I have written many plans out - I sometimes really like doing it. Yes, I can say that I am not totally where I wanted or needed to be but that is ok, it is not a shot at my goals or me, just the way life happens. However, it does mean that as I step into goal planning I look for the following:
1. Some things that I can see/feel immediately each day. 2. Some things that is attainable in periods such as a week, month, 90days, a year, five years. 3. Some things that would require a bit of work and see some or full results daily, weekly, monthly, etc 4. Some things that are larger challenges that if I begin to get towards would give that sensation of accomplishment and belief/knowledge of possibility - again weekly, monthly, yearly 5. Some things that are deadline or number oriented - stuff that *must* get done at or by certain times so there is a sense of pressure 6. Some things that have general ideas of when/what will be completed so that there are things to be relaxed about
Wow, sounds like a lot of things need to be in this plan, that could be bad right?
Well, depending on the person having a lot is good and having a little is good. Ideally if you work with me we will look at what area of life your at, where you believe/know/feel/want/need for things to be..
However, I would say at least initially there needs to be a 'large dream' that is open to possibilities at about 5 years and then some easily seen each day goals to get you going.
Goal planning is, when done in a way to increase actualization of goals, an ongoing process. It is also one that works best with both internal and external accountability - a factor for why those 6 areas are needed.
When you create, follow through, and review goals for daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, etc there is a great increase of self-efficacy, self-control, self-respect, and both mindfulness and mastery.
It is a discipline because if you only make immediatly possible/will happen goals then it is only pleasure and a fast-paced idea you live by. If you only make long term hard to accomplish goals you may find defeat and small pleasures will be few.
Goal planning is a discipline that as you work on it the power that becomes available is tremendous. When combined, as it is best and ought to be, with mindfulness activities, meditation, gratitude activities, and social support it opens that sense of trust, belief, and faith with knowledge that just about anything is possible!!
~Much love to all. If you would like to work on goal planning let me know, also read through the blogs of the next couple weeks where we will focus on those aspects of goal planning and bring in more concepts.
Ever have that moment that you go someplace or meet someone and it is 'click' an instant connection - hopefully a good one or even someone or somplace you have been before but there is a sudden awareness of an intimate connection?
I have had a number of those with places I have been in my life - a feeling of being drawn in, welcomed, of knowing the place is special or somehow will be special to me or those I care for. North Carolina is full of that though some stems from my youth - going around the country last year San Diego, Mt Rainier, and a few other places just stood out.
There are a number of people this has happened with as well - some in stronger ways, some in more lasting ways, and some well who knows just yet. But the strength of that connection - be it for business, friendship, or more is nearly indescribable. With one that comes to mind it was such a surprise to find the connection and amazing how strong it was.
These instant connections are magical, there is no other way to describe it. Sometimes there is even that eerie deja vu or snesation of promise of things to come. They awaken you to who you are, to where you are, to the people around you - calling you to be present in that moment, to let other stuff/worries/concerns/doubts be as they are and embrace the connection.
They also can be fragile as when we begin to ask the 'if's', when we begin to debate on what the connection 'could, should, or we would like' it to mean. In that moment at the ocean with the waves washing over the cliffs we can loose or lighten the connection if we start thinking tooo much about tide times, the science of it, our daily lives and how much we 'need to be there' **HELLO YOU ARE THERE NOW**... sigh... With a person we begin to wonder about others in our lives or think whether the person 'will be' something or is 'just/only' something and rather than ask or preferably be/allow we loose or lighten the magical connection.
The nice thing is though as you begin to bring in all your senses into your experiences, as you decrease and manage better stresses, as you show gratitude towards life, and as you connect to the world and others these magical moments increase, they get stronger, and sometimes the ones that did diminish can come back in ways never thought - all of the sudden that park which became 'just another place to walk' is alive again with smells, dancing shadows, and so much more.
*smiles* I hope everyone has a Wonderful Wednesday and that you find your connections to yourself, other people, and the world around you - it is beautiful.
